Thursday, August 31, 2006

Taking one for the team!

A kind reader responded to my post supporting the profiling of flyers for our safety with this crafty response:

Anonymous said...

Have there been any recent incidents where a white person wanted a Chinese person off of a plane? What about a Mexican? What about an (non-Muslim) African ?

You're making this into a "white people are racist" thing, but the evidence doesn't seem to support that view. It seems that white people, and various colors of people for that matter, are nervous when people who look like they follow the "religion of peace" are on their plane.



Dear Anonymous:

Yes, actually, I was almost kicked off of a flight out of Islip because my penis was too big to fit in my seat. My penis is actually pretty small, but they had assumed that I have a giant cock because of my Chinese ancestry. Kelly Hu was sitting next to me on that flight, but she said nothing. As part of my drug trafficking operation, I employ a number of Mexican people to fly on planes for me, but they actually haven't had any trouble as O'Hare officials were too interested in strip-searching random African-American women at customs.

With your second paragraph, I have no idea what you are talking about. I am in FAVOR of tossing people off of planes because they are too Muslim. I just don't think most people are as clever as those crafty Brits, who could tell just by the way the colored gentlemen were checking their watches that they were bombing for Allah.

Hell, I get nervous too. One time there was this really fat white guy who got on my plane, and I love white people, but I was seriously nervous that his enormous girth would cause the plane to crash into the ocean. I mean it's a scientific principle that planes can't carry infinite weight. The evidence supports this. I'm not a racist--some of my best friends are fat white people, and have even had them over to my house (never for dinner though--I'm not made of money). I just wouldn't want one to marry my daughter.

But what kind of country do we live in? Why can't I have fat people thrown off the plane because they make me nervous?

It gets worse. I'm deathly afraid whenever I see Jewish people with their yamakas board the planes. After all, those evil brown people are always trying to blow up Jewish people, and it's not like you can just blow up part of a plane.

I tell the stewardess, I mean flight attendant (I'm not a sexist), "Could you please remove that Jewish person from the plane because I fear for my life?!" and they look at me like I'm crazy.

I realize that it's not the Jewish people's fault that they are targets. But as Jonah Goldberg has taught me, sometimes some people different from us have to make huge sacrifices for our safety while we make no sacrifices ourselves. So if it was up to me, it'd be no Jewish people on planes or in public EVER!

Can't they just stay in secret compartments somewhere where the terrorists would never find them? I read part of a book about that once about this girl who successfully hid from the evil Nazis (I think they were Muslims too) in a secret compartment and it saved her family. At least that's how I remember it--I didn't get to finish the Cliff's Notes because that awesome 90210 "Rave" episode was on TV, and I just had to catch it.

Because see that's what America is all about--other people giving up stuff for the greater benefit, and by "greater benefit", I of course mean "my benefit", Sure, there are tons of peaceful Muslims in my community who always treat me well, and I think they should be honored to be thrown off a plane or have their faith ridiculed by my Anonymous friends and their condescending quotation marks after all, they are helping America--a land that they love. It may be an abusive, "I love him even though he beats me" kind of love, but who am I to judge love. Unless they are sodomities, in which case I am the perfect person to judge love negatively.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the confusion. If only I could write clearly and concisely like that man I so admire, Mr. Goldberg, He has shown me that just because your people have been the victims of horrible injustices doesn't mean that you can't preach for further injustices to be visited on others. What a brave, articulate man.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll try to make my point more clear...

These incidents don't indicate that white people have a general fear or distrust of "colored" people. Only certain kinds.

Maybe we should wonder why certain kinds of people create fear on a plane and others don't.

Perhaps the fear is irrational, but so is the fear of flying in general, and you wouldn't accuse someone who was fearful of flying as being a bad person, would you?

9:32 AM  
Blogger xian said...

Dropping character:

Absolutely, we should wonder and investigate all of those things.

But having a general fear or distrust of a group of people unrelated except by appears or spoken language (remember, this is not a fear created by someone saying "I'm willing to die for my God" before stepping on to a plane, it's based on looking at someone, and making a determination on the basis of their ethnic looks that they are dangerous.

I've finished my wondering, investigation and analysis, and my conclusion is that people those groups create fear on a plane and others don't because people have make a bullshit assumption that terrorism somehow genetically passed on.

That's irrational, plus destructive to others. If you hadn't noticed, your garden variety person who is afraid of flying hasn't tried to get others kicked of a plane so they can fly around a bunch.

That's what makes racial profilers' actions so terrible.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Ironcheffie said...

I've been alive for long enough that being scared of the 3 large minority males walking towards you on the street is NOT likely to rob you. No more likely than 3 large White males walking towards you anyway.

Whatever, next time I see a person fly with a dog on the plane, I'll ask the flight attendant to remove the dog from the plane, because I'll be too tempted to eat it.

4:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've finished my wondering, investigation and analysis, and my conclusion is that people those groups create fear on a plane and others don't because people have make a bullshit assumption that terrorism somehow genetically passed on.

You might want to think harder. Behavioral characteristics have been attributed to groups of people long before anyone knew about DNA.

It's just that now, hypersensitive leftists scream and yell that not EVERYONE in the group shares that trait. Over the ages, people realized that not everyone is the same, and sometimes assumptions are wrong. When Russians visit China and the locals speak English to them, should they be deeply offended and lecture the Chinese locals about their prejudice? Of course not.

It seems like you are claiming that the consequences of being wrong about possible terrorists are so bad, that the person who was wrong must be extra stupid or extra evil.

Jesse Jackson said himself that when he is approached by a group at night, he is relieved to see that they are white. Is it OK for him to think that because he is black?

8:55 AM  
Blogger xian said...

Have you read the context of that quote from Jackson, or is it your practice to just crib quotes from others out of context warping the meaning, but shocking people into supporting their cause.

An embedded racist belief shines through your analogies: you clearly think that Americans of color are not full citizens deserving of the rights that any American has earned.

If it's ok to deprive Americans of their basic right to equitable treatment because of their appearance, what do you think America is supposed to be about? What makes our country so special?

I think our greatest ideal is that we judge people on their actions and character, not on their place of origin or skin color or religous group.

When you take away that principle, there's nothing worthwhile left except centuries of atrocities in the name of a hollow "freedom".

I wasn't joking about the examples I gave. I don't support them or believe in them, but they fit into your logical framework perfectly.

What is the difference between harassing Americans who happen to be Jewish on a plane because there is a perception that that will improve the safety of the plane and harassing people who are Muslim or Brown-skinned on a plane for the same reason?

In the end, the vast majority of the people being harassed are just normal, innocent Americans like the rest of us.

Or how about this: A mass-murderer is roaming the country killing kids. Naturally, he is white (I'm joking about the naturally).

Is it ok for me to demand that the police arrest and interrogate every white person in the country? What if he kills 6,000 people with a garden hoe? Can I ban white people from carrying gardening hoes?

Do you believe in profiling? Or do you believe in profiling when it doesn't impact you or people you care about?

6:22 PM  
Blogger Danger said...

Another great post, Xian.

11:29 PM  
Anonymous h_pets / steph said...

anonymous said: "Maybe we should wonder why certain kinds of people create fear on a plane and others don't."

You mean, maybe you should analyze your fears and behaviors related to certain kinds of people. Why you're afraid of someone of a different race, or specifically of the muslim religion, and you're not afraid of white CEOs who hire mercenaries to bust their unions for them in a violent upheavel? Good, I'm glad you're analyzing your biases!

1:19 PM  

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